Origins of the “Can I Get A” DBZ Scream

TLDR at the bottom =)

I first encountered a curious audio segment where a smurf-like voice seemed to have a Dragonball Z -sounding warmup scream, on an instagram reels video about car parts, which just had it in the background. Clicking on the audio option, I came to the Instagram Reels audio posted by krypto_civicfk7, which has all of the uses of that audio below it.

The comments in the video I found it on were not very helpful, and took me down the path of just leads which isolated the music in the background and not the scream audio. If you’re only interested in the music part, it comes from the video game Doom Eternal, specifically the track by Australian artist Mick Gordon called, The Only Thing They Fear Is You. There is an enhanced version here with 21M views so far, which is actually a fun detour that has tons of funny comments about how people feel when listening to it.

Other comments suggested searching for “Oh yeah but doom” and while those did have the scream sampled in it like the krypto_civicfk7 version and a longer song version by YouTuber ChadMan around August 3, 2022.

Other comments suggested, “can I get a” followed by various spellings of hoyah/hooyah. Most of those appear to me a past call-and-response of a feminine moan noise, as possibly a meme type utterance. Searching “Can I get a hoy ya” has a lot of variations on that feminine wail, including a kind of Marco-Polo style call and response from strangers in public places, but that wasn’t quite it.

However, one of those results under hoy ya, came up as a YouTube Short called “Longest Hoyah Ever” by YouTuber and Twitch Streamer Tubby, which is the first one I found with not only no backer music, but also an additional breath beyond the one faded out in the music-mixed versions. However, the additional breath has laughter of the people listening to it, so I had a good lead now, but needed to find the original to that, which didn’t have the laughter.

After some more results sifting, I found this YT SHort version which has either a close approximation or a snippet of an actual Goku English voice actor Sean Schemmel — which isn’t pitched up, from July 31, 2022. This to me suggests that there could be a non-pitched-up version, for which the pitched-up version is itself an edit. That YT short claims the original video is on Instagram here and dated July 20th, but also has the Doom music mixed in. I wondered if maybe the Goku-sounding edit might be a pitched-down version somehow, but the Doom music isn’t pitched down seemingly.

I asked Tubby where he got the audio, and he said he was the original of it; I countered that his has laughter over the top of the last breath so that surely there must be another recording of it which had been played, and linked the possible lower-pitched version. Tubby said he recorded the audio from his Short, while on Twitch stream with BonsaiBroz, which is an acct by twin brothers who play games together.

Tubby also suggested potential for the origins coming from tiktoker named @jar_oh_me, and I did find this post which has the lower pitched voice, but still with music mixed in. He explains in a later tiktok, that he actually heard the BonsaiBroz version first, and then made his own normal-pitched version of himself yelling and that he mixed the music in, so turns out the the lower version and the higher version are different recordings and not just edits of pitch, but also believes it is a variation on the feminine hoo-yah wail.

I clicked into the original BonsaiBroz post which jar_oh_me had replied to, to find a pretty clear high pitched version, and explaining in another post that it is his own voice screamed into a microphone with something called a Go XLR, by TC-Helicon (costs a little under $600 as of this writing via Amazon).

It’s possible that the Tubby version above, since he was playing with the BonsaiBroz at the time of the original Twitch stream (to be linked later when I find it), was actually the twin screaming live and not a recording, so that the laughter over the final breath is indeed the original, since most of the screams with music also clip off the 5th breath where the laughter happens.. unless there is another BonsaiBroz stream where that is screamed also done =)

TL;DR

TLDR: it’s from this, until I can find the original twitch stream/VOD which Tubby made that YT short from. It was screamed by Twitch streamer BonsaiBroz into a GoXLR device. The metal music is a separate thing, by Australian artist Mick Gordon, on a track called The Only Thing They Fear Is You for the Doom Eternal video game soundtrack.

Exploring the Aegosexual “Disconnect” Issue

CW: dentistry scares, childhood trauma, diddling, out-of-body experience with physical pain, consent

“Aegosexuality is defined as a disconnect between oneself and a sexual target object of arousal. This sexuality that is on the asexuality spectrum may involve sexual fantasies or arousal, aegosexuals may perform sexual activities, masturbate in response to porn but they are only a disembodied observer not an active participant in real life.”

(excerpted from Taimi Wiki entry: Aegosexual, which is a good read in general)

When I first read the description for the meaning of Aego-, I identified a lot with it except for the “disconnect” part. After having considered it for a while, I am beginning to realize how true the disconnect part is.

My earliest sensuality-related dream in my youth, maybe around age 6 or 7, was me in the kind of prison like in Shawshank Redemption or the Andy Griffith show, where there are 3 solid walls of a small room, and one wall is bars that slide closed, one person per cell. I was in such a cell to myself, but across the corridor to a cell like mine, facing me, at a girl I liked from school, in the same state– and that image still really pretty accurately describes how it is for me today in general with any subject for arousal, figuratively separated by not only the bars of my cell, but by a corridor and the additional bars of her cell, and there is a world of comfort in that separation.

When I was little, I had a series of really traumatic-to-me experiences of baby teeth that required pulling due to adult teeth coming in at between-teeth positions. In this series of dental visits, I often needed to tell the dentist to stop or that it hurt too much, but couldn’t in some cases because my mouth was kept open due to instruments or when I could talk, the people over me dismissed my concerns as ‘not that bad’ when it really was that bad, and I felt powerless to stop it and that I couldn’t trust any adults anymore because they were going to hurt me regardless of whether I said stop or not.

As a way of adapting to how scary and painful it was, I entered into a kind of state where I could view myself from outside of myself, as if I were watching what was happening and disconnected from the feeling, but I could still see the pain as a kind of red blob of color that that acted as a kind of visual meter which got brighter as it hurt more, and I could just watch the blob instead of feeling it directly, but could still feel it in kind of a vague way. That watching-from-the-exterior is that “disconnect” I realize now.

It might be worth noting on my method of diddling; I use a very soft cloth with no liquids involved. I am grossed out by touching fluids except when drinking, and immediately want to dry myself of anything fluid touching me. I can suspend the gross out to take a shower, or if I spill something on me and can’t remedy it, so using some kind of fluid to diddle would be moment-shattering. For that reason also, I also don’t want to participate in anything IRL because it would require a fluid interaction as I understand it. I am able to not encounter any fluids on release also, by a tissue catching system I’ve devised over the years that results in zero touching of any moisture, most of the time. In a sense, my diddling is also disconnected, in that I don’t skin-to-skin contact even myself in the process.

If I am ever reading a story that gets my motor running, or watching a scene that appeals to the prurient, or thinking of an idea — I am outside of it, like a floating viewpoint, and any sensations I feel with my own movements, is like that blob of color that can be seen in the periphery. I am not part of the scene taking place directly, but I can just emotionally-feel the scene for its charge, rather than imagining myself being a participant. I don’t want to be a participant, because that would break the special combination helps me get there, and I don’t want to even try getting there in person, partly because of interpersonal engagement itself is a level of awkwardness that would also break me out of it.

I am also super preoccupied with consent, because as far as the dentist’s perspective was, he had all the consent necessary and could ignore consent from me because my parents had signed off on it, plus from his perspective it would have been just another day on the job, doing nothing wrong and under the premise of actually helping me. I have a lot of trouble detecting honesty from people in general and take everything said with a grain of salt as potentially not being true later on (especially if not understanding an idiomatic phrase I’ve not encountered) if they change their mind, so even if someone were to express consent to me I would have trouble believing it, and I think acting on a doubt of consent is a terrible idea.

I have read that some people, in a moment of arousal, experience a kind of ‘drive to complete the action’ which takes over and regard for consent becomes less important, and I don’t want to risk experiencing that from the both angle of the drive-haver, or the recipient of it, so I just flat out refuse consent across the board from anyone, and only feel safe experiencing those sensations when exclusively alone, so a story to read, or a scene to watch, or an idea to ponder, is the only stims I have to work with.

The idea of a mechanical action on my part, like pushing into or vacating, as part of an interaction on my part when experiencing a diddling sensation, is not connected to the scene or the narrative, but is instead a vague sensation-metric that is either “intense or less intense.” Consider how, if you encounter an endearing or very emotionally intense scene in a movie, you may feel the need to cry in response. The crying itself, doesn’t function somehow into the scene, as if your tears were somehow dropping onto the people, or that emotion in general impacts/affects the characters involved, but is a response from you, yourself, uniquely an independently from the characters you’re watching. You’re not standing amidst them; you’re crying of your own personal response completely separate from them. Likewise, the intensity of my state toward completion doesn’t involve imagining some mechanical function of me being present among the actors in the scene of interest, or as being a character in the story, but just as an independent party disconnected from what is happening there experiencing my own reaction separately.

Think about how a person can really enjoy a police chase on the news, as the helicopter flies overheard watching the action, but not ever wanting to actually be in a real car chase. The onlooker doesn’t have to worry about a kid running out to fetch his ball that rolled into the road, or potential for a crash with a bus going on a field trip, or the wind dynamics, or the gas gauge, or the speed governor, or the escape avenues if it comes down to being on foot, or how far away the state line is, etc.

Think about perhaps someone who likes car racing, but is content to just sit in an arcade machine and race digital cars at best, but not be involved in a real car race because of the insurmountable number of variables like safety, preparation, smells, claustrophobia of potentially being trapped in a wreck, etc. The arcade version isn’t experiencing the g-forces of moving side to side when the car turns, the wind or debris possibly blinding your vision, the gas gauge or oil pressure or extra weight concerns of a real vehicle, etc.

Maybe think of someone who snuggles a teddy bear or stuffies, who needs not be concerned with social dynamics of a kiss or a hug, or whether mashing your face into their face is something they prefer or don’t prefer, nor are tasked with the anatomical upkeep of the creature like food, water, sleep, bedding, temperate preferences, etc, disconnected from all of the elements required in a more authentic experience.

Likewise, I am not interested in a real intimate interaction either; the interpersonal dynamics, the negotiating, the idea of consent being reliable, the logistics of when and where, being able to escape quickly or shut down if the senses become overwhelmed — all play into how resoundingly uninterested I am in participating in the real thing. The diddle does not function for me as “something I can do for now until I can get the real thing later” nor “something I can do to practice for when I get to do the real thing” but is instead more of a number 3, that is a personal hygiene response to a buildup in the sense of 1 or 2, that once it’s done, it’s a relief and thankful it is over now, and I can go on with what other tasks are available.

“Why Are We Friends?” Podcast: List of All Connections

“Why Are We Friends” is a trivia podcast, based on Ken Jennings’ “Kennections” game. There are 5 trivia questions, each of which have answers that share a common connection which must ultimately be guessed in order to win the turn.

The podcast can be found on just about any podcast source; but you can check out their Facebook page, and Apple podcast page. The purpose of this list is to allow any fan wishing to submit their own connections questions, to know what connections have already been used, to avoid submitting a duplicate.

– Episode 1 –
Round 1: People from New Zealand
Round 2: These all have mirrors
Round 3: Perfume brands

– Episode 2 –
Round 1: Words which follow ‘Banana’
Round 2: Cities in Ohio
Round 3: Movies set in San Francisco

– Episode 3 –
Round 1: People you tip
Round 2: Brands of cigarettes
Round 3: Musical instruments

– Episode 4 –
Round 1: Famous Native Americans
Round 2: All found in a cabinet
Round 3: Famous TV Advertisements

– Episode 5 –
Round 1: Words Preceding/Following ‘Project’
Round 2: People named Tyler
Round 3: Things that are white

– Episode 6 –
Round 1: Types of teas
Round 2: Gaming systems
Round 3: Things with holes

– Episode 7 –
Round 1: Things that are second
Round 2: Words which follow ‘Moon’
Round 3: Characters from The Wire

– Episode 8 –
Round 1: Canyons
Round 2: Shoe brands
Round 3: Genres of music

– Episode 9 –
Round 1: Each played Ebenezer Scrooge
Round 2: Types of nets
Round 3: Things you burn

– Episode 10 –
Round 1: Dog commands
Round 2: 90’s TV shows
Round 3: Book publishers

– Episode 11 –
Round 1: Shades of Gray
Round 2: Types of flowers
Round 3: Words after ‘Air’

– Episode 12 –
Round 1: All have five stars
Round 2: Football formations
Round 3: Superbowl halftime performers

– Episode 13 –
Round 1: Robin Williams roles
Round 2: US Congressmen
Round 3: All are salty

– Episode 14 –
Round 1: Things found on an airplane
Round 2: Families in Game of Thrones
Round 3: Kinds of machines

– Episode 15 –
Round 1: New Kids on the Block songs
Round 2: US Presidents
Round 3: Country music singers

– Episode 16 –
Round 1: Kinds of Bowls
Round 2: Names of Islands
Round 3: Names of Roller Coasters

– Episode 17 –
Round 1:  They all have flags
Round 2: Kinds of Waves
Round 3: Kinds of Tapes

– Episode 18 –
Round 1: Famous Parks
Round 2: Kinds of Soup
Round 3: Seinfeld episodes

– Episode 19 –
Round 1: All involve tickets
Round 2: Things you “release”
Round 3: Things you call the police

– Episode 20 –
Round 1: Plaintiffs in landmark US court cases
Round 2: Card Games
Round 3: Steve Martin movies

– Episode 21 –
Round 1: Shades of Brown
Round 2: Kinds of beans
Round 3: Things you pitch

– Episode 22 –
Round 1: Florida sports franchises
Round 2: All have drafts
Round 3: Melissa McCarthy movies
Round 4: Types of parties

– Episode 23 –
Round 1: Famous New York Yankees
Round 2: Things found at Disneyland
Round 3: Famous Johns in music

– Episode 24 –
Round 1: Judges on American Idol
Round 2: Words which follow Seven
Round 3: Things associated with fishing

– Episode 25 –
Round 1: Fast food restaurants
Round 2: Things associated with Phantom of the Opera
Round 3: Things on the left

– Episode 26 –
Round 1: Words which go before Jam
Round 2: Things which are British
Round 3: Cabins (?)

– Episode 27 –
Round 1: Groups of animals
Round 2: Mars rovers
Round 3: Things symbolized with Lions

– Episode 28 –
Round 1: Parts of a pinball machine
Round 2: Board games
Round 3: U2 songs

– Episode 29 –
Round 1: Chicken dishes
Round 2: Famous people named Larry
Round 3: Ships which had a mutiny

– Episode 30 –
Round 1: Types of Law
Round 2: Things you beat
Round 3: Homonyms to foods

– Episode 31 –
Round 1: Things which are weighed
Round 2: Associated with The Rock
Round 3: Kinds of salad

– Episode 32 –
Round 1: Weezer song titles
Round 2: Things found in a fridge
Round 3: Cities in Nebraska

– Episode 33 –
Round 1: Co-Characters of Nancy
Round 2: Words before Star
Round 3: Things dope can mean

– Episode 34 –
Round 1: Liam Neeson films
Round 2: Types of Strokes
Round 3: Types of Doughnuts

– Episode 35 –
Round 1: Arcade games
Round 2: David Bowie songs
Round 3: Cities in Oregon

– Episode 36 –
Round 1: Associated with candles
Round 2: phrases following ‘Kentucky’
Round 3: parts of a sword

– Episode 37 –
Round 1: Things which strike
Round 2: Kinds of rodents
Round 3: Types of belts

– Episode 38 –
Round 1: Skateboarding terms
Round 2: Peter Pan characters
Round 3: Harrison Ford films

– Episode 39 –
Round 1: Dodge vehicles
Round 2: Famous people named Ron
Round 3: Scott Joplin songs

– Episode 40 –
Round 1: Star Wars characters
Round 2: Movies with rabbits
Round 3: Shades of red

– Episode 41 –
Round 1: Things with a bench
Round 2: Giants
Round 3: Things you pull

– Episode 42 –
Round 1: Types of raice
Round 2: Baseball stadiums
Round 3: Words following Buffalo

– Episode 43 –
Round 1: Small dog breeds
Round 2: Famous Brians
Round 3: Soccer terms

– Episode 44 –
Round 1: Things that are dry
Round 2: Robert Downey Jr roles
Round 3: U2 albums

– Episode 45 –
Round 1: All have diamonds
Round 2: Words which can follow “free”
Round 3: Kinds of furniture

– Episode 46 –
Round 1: Types of bus
Round 2: Bill Murray films
Round 3: Associated with lanes

– Episode 47 –
Round 1: Associated with eggs
Round 2: Brands of chewing gum
Round 3: Things which are blue

– Episode 48 –
Round 1: Associated with craps game
Round 2: Words which come before Friend
Round 3: pronouns

– Episode 49 –
Round 1: Types of underwear
Round 2: Words which can follow Black
Round 3: Famous people named Jack

– Episode 50 –
Round 1: Begins with a double letter
Round 2: Things you draw
Round 3: Vice Presidents

– Episode 51 –
Round 1: Associated with Sweden
Round 2: Herb varieties
Round 3: All have arrows

– Episode 52 –
Round 1: Things you count
Round 2: Arrested Development characters
Round 3: ???

– Episode 53 –
Round 1: Kinds of gasses
Round 2: Words which follow No
Round 3: Found on a roll

– Episode 54 –
Round 1: Things that spin
Round 2: Famous hills
Round 3: ???

– Episode 55 –
Round 1: Tennis scores
Round 2: Characters in Beauty & The Beast
Round 3: Accounting terms

– Episode 56 –
Round 1: REM songs
Round 2: Words before Drive
Round 3: Tom Petty songs

– Episode 57 –
Round 1: Palindromes
Round 2: Goonies characters
Round 3: Types of bread

– Episode 58 –
Round 1: Associated with Roast
Round 2: English units of measure
Round 3: Baseball pitch nicknames

– Episode 59 –
Round 1: Has a face tattoo
Round 2: Aaron Carter albums
Round 3: All have queens

– Episode 60 –
Round 1: Shades of pink
Round 2: Kinds of cups
Round 3: Rhymes with names in this podcast

Links to all known “Noisy Gobshite” Contractor Reddit Updates

An epic thread on Reddit about a sub-contractor getting fired by “Noisy Gobshite” for failing to check on whether his coffee was ready, has gained over 50,000 upvotes all in, but it’s spread across multiple threads and discussion has spread across multiple subreddits seeking updates as the total fallout hasn’t been tallied. This is my attempt to link each of those posts onto a single page, and add any known updates when available.

Original Thread, Includes Updates 1-8 as edits.
/do_you_know_who_i_am_and_youre_fired_until_they/

TDLR: Hyper-specialized sub-contractor (“David”) who has extremely limited availability and extremely rare talents for restoring century-specific architecture with very specific rare materials, is hired by ‘ACC’ contractor’s site-admin (not owner) to restore an historic UK building. ACC blowhard owner, ‘Noisy Gobshite’ fires David (without consulting site-admin) for refusing to help fetch NG coffee, unaware how fractally-profoundly difficult it will be to hire someone to replace him. David is miraculously not a jerk about it, but gains proof that he was fired and that he didn’t abandon the site, in the form of a audio-recorded tirade from NG telling David to leave the property and the contract ending.

Update Nine:
/update_do_you_know_who_i_am_backfires_on_business/

TLDR: Noisy Gobshite’s company is forced to hire a Bulgarian to come from the EU (*snicker*) to resume/restart repairs, but “then it gets interesting” when Bulgarian uses wrong-century techniques and materials, plus destroys part of the original building, resulting in a volcano of fresh wet excrement to hit the fan of the size of the chunnel digger.

Update Ten:
/update_ten_seriously_ten_to_do_you_know_who_i_am/

TLDR: Use of the phrase, “You’re as much use as Anne Frank’s drum kit,” and now-former-owner NG, is fired by the father and uncle of the company who own over 50% share in the company but let NG run it and are possibly on the hook for shy of 1mil (GBP) fines and repair bills. Includes storyteller’s wife updating that wildly handsome storyteller was in a car accident and unable to update much else yet.

Storyteller’s Reddit User page, /MostlyGruntled has a feed of any known most-recent posts automatically. As of this article’s writing (April 29, 2020), only known update is people in different subreddit(s) asking for updates.

Is Alabama Throwing the Baby Out With the Bathwater?

In areas where indoor plumbing was not available, one might throw used washing-water out a window onto the street, or dump it out elsewhere. From that developed an idiom in the 1500s, “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater,” or reworded slightly in the 1800s “[Y]ou must empty-out the bathing-tub, but not the baby along with it,” to figuratively recommend avoid discarding valuables in your fervor to discard non-valuables.

Years ago I amended it —
“Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, but also don’t avoid throwing out the bathwater for fear of throwing out babies.”

With discussion of the Alabama total-ban on abortion of any kind, I may need to amend it further, with, “nor, summarize your having thrown out both baby and bathwater, as exercising your right to throw out bathwater.”

In regard to the Alabama law, I think those in favor of a total ban are of so fearful of baby getting thrown out, they would criminalize even just the simple throwing out bathwater on the off-chance it might contain a baby, and will square-peg-into-round-hole force off-topic, vaguely-water-related Chinese proverbs actually about poultry to instead now foretell prophecy of rivers of blood and condemnation that God will rain down upon our once-glorious and sacred nation, neither having been glorious or sacred prior.

Those opposed, however, seem to take immense joy upon filling basins with bathwater and babies, dumping the bathwater with one hand, whilst waving the banner, “my basin, my water” with the other. Even if baby gets dumped out, these argue the bathwater wouldn’t need to be dumped out had we not been enslaved by oppressive capitalist Big Baby, despite themselves being leading shareholders of Big Basin, Big Water, Big Dump, Big Soap, and have pending patents for hydraulic dumping arms, the proceeds for which go to non-profit People For the Ethical Dumping of Oppressive Bathwater.

I recommend not even engaging in behaviors that could lead to babies.

Flint’s Water’s Lead Content Is Now Safer Than Bottled Water

According to both city and independent testing, Flint Michigan’s prior water crisis (due to the presence of lead), is now testing at 4 parts per billion, whereas the restrictions for bottled water production are limited to 5 parts per billion.

The process of replacing the affected piping is scheduled to be completed by 2019, but is already showing to be in the clear according to testing of homes believed to be of high risk of receiving contaminated water.

The project to repair it has been underway for years now, although memes and social media arguments still seem to bicker that ‘something needs to be done’ or ‘why hasn’t something been done yet.’

Sources:
Michigan Live Independent test confirmation
Detroit News Project to be completed in 2019
FDA.gov Bottle water Lead PPM restrictions
Wikipedia Updated 2019 Section
Flint Water Study Updates Facebook page will 2019+ news of progress
Michigan.gov PDF of independent study results and methodology

Master List of “The Fired/Sacked Magician Was Disillusioned” Puns

A fired cleaning lady is dismayed.
A fired magician is disillusioned.
A fired pig farmer is disgruntled.
A fired shepherd is deflocked.

Who else can add a reaction to how someone was fired?

I am increasingly seeing forum posts that propose inventing additional entries to a list of sentences where a person is fired (or “sacked” if you’re a UK English speaker), and the firing/sacking is characterized by a pun regarding their profession, somewhat Tom Swifty style.

The typical first four examples are as listed above; I have collected several additional entries from around the web.

A fired assembly-line worker is discombobulated.
A fired lawyer is disbarred.
A fired lawyer is distorted.
A fired lawyer is unsuitable.
A fired computer technician is shut down.
A fired computer technician who is rehired is turned off and back on again.
A fired cook is toast.

Read 130+ more entries here.

Why do Bags of Chips/Crisps Have So Much Air? Here’s Why.

On Twitter recently it was trending to turn bags of potato chips (crisps, in UK English) upside down on the shelf, as a way to show others how much you’re being “ripped off” by the way the chips all fall down into the part of the bag covered by the logo, and how much air is inside, showing how many chips you’re not getting. However, you want MORE air in your bag, depending.

Here are several reasons why your chips have so much air in the bag, and why that is completely reasonable.

1. A bag with more air can’t be crushed as easily, meaning less fractured chips. You may notice that chips like Cheetos and Fritos have less air in them (but also smaller bag sizes) and that’s because those chips are tougher to break, so the need for air cushioning is reduced. With as many people that handle the bags, and with as many times they are handled, the presence of air prevents individual stockers from crushing the chips inside by there being more air, since grasping the bag front to back would leave more space in between due to the tensile strength of the bag, for the chips to remain in.

If you buy a TV retail, the box is larger than the TV is, because the box contains both the TV and often foam corner cushions to help prevent damage to the TV. You’re not being deceived in buying less-TV or a smaller TV based on how big the box is; the bigger box protects the actual TV you’re buying. Likewise, the ounces of chips you’re buying are more protected in transit and in the stocking process by having a larger bag with more air. The ounces are printed on the front, just as a TV size is printed on the front.

2. Perfect-seal/freshness checking is far easier with more air. Sometimes when receiving cases of chips, there will be one or two inside that seem deflated somewhat, and may have a slow leak that is not obvious, meaning the freshness is questionable from not having a complete seal on it, and dirt/etc could have gotten inside. Having more air in the bag helps with being able to compress gently to detect whether there is any seal rupture, so that it can be refunded as damaged goods.

Continue reading..

Mystery of the “Capital” Brand Soprano Saxophone

I am in possession of a soprano saxophone with the “Capital” brand on the bell, and it has developed some mystery problem and won’t play any notes other than a strange hollow sound.

I received it as a gift appx 20 years ago, from a friend who claimed to have gotten it from a San Antonio music store closing down and selling instruments off cheap.

I have never been able to find any reference to any Capital brand saxophones, or even any Capital brand instruments of any kind over the years of searching for details about it. I’ve taken it to several instrument repair shops (I live in a town with several marching bands who all require instrument repair and rental) and none of them can figure out what exactly is wrong with it, and I’m tempted to just sell it off as junk for $35 or something, but it’s something I’d always wanted.

It did play properly in years past, but one day when dusting off the case and trying it again, it just wouldn’t make any noise other than the hollow tone, no matter which keys were pressed; not even the octave key at the top of the neck really influenced the sound.

If anyone has any information about this brand of saxophone, or any suggestions on something in particular to check on it to troubleshoot this problem, please comment below.

Dear Time-Warner Spectrum: Please Stop this $40 Bundle Garbage

Dear Time-Warner/Spectrum:

Please stop sending me AMAZING DEALS in the mail about the identical offer over and over. With every new opportunity, you keep sending me the identical LIMITED TIME deal, without fail, when it is objectively not a deal at all.

I had Time Warner Cable internet before it became Spectrum, and it was about $25/mo ($15/mo with a bunch of garbage fees). I don’t have a television or a phone. I do have a cell phone, but it’s a Trac-Fone and costs around $7 per month.

You’re proposing I get the amazing deal of internet for $40/mo, except your idea of an amazing deal is actually a price increase of $15 more per month than I’m already paying. Plus, I can only get that incredible savings IF I bundle it with two other services I don’t even use, for $40/mo each, for a total of $120/mo instead of the existing $25 (lately has been raised to $30/mo via some additional garbage fees added on).

To be fair, you’ve recently switched over to a TV+Internet bundle minus the land-line, which is still $80, or $50 more per month than I’m paying now.

IT IS NOT A DEAL, and it reminds me of how out-of-touch you are EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Also, it is NOT A LIMITED TIME OFFER.

Each time your fine print says that the offer exprires on xyz date, it never does genuinely expire because you just change what the same offer is “celebrating” so that I can still get the same non-savings because it happens to be George Washington’s birthday, or Valentine’s Day, or whatever.

During October you wanted me to essentially ‘scare-up-some-savings’ with the SAME OFFER.

In November, you told me about a LIMITED TIME offer that offered a cornucopia of savings in “thanks” for being a great customer, with THE SAME OFFER.

Then there was the BLACK FRIDAY DEAL except it was the SAME OFFER. Cyber Monday deal! SAME OFFER.

In mid-November I posted on Facebook about your perpetual psychosis that this could possibly be an amazing deal somehow or in any sense of the word a LIMITED TIME deal and to get it now now now, that you would actually be offering the same motherfalcon offer with something like “Tis The Season For an Amazing Deal” or some garbage. Sure enough on Dec 16, you sent me, “It’s a Most Wonderful Time for a Deal” with the SAME OFFER.

Each time I get a new one, I will be posting it in comments below this article until you stop. I wonder how long it will keep going.. decades?

Forge of Empires: Perfect Microtransaction Balance and Unsalty Game Community

If you’ve never heard of it, please check out a browser game (and recently an app version that connects to the same browser-playing players) called Forge of Empires.

This has truly become “my game” to play over the years, and it has what I would argue as the most perfect balance between gameplay-advantageous microtransactions (henceforth MTs), yet at the same time basically no-one caring that people can gain advantage thru MTs because the game’s fun-ness at the fundamental level is the grind toward those advantages.

Full disclosure: This is an invite link that gives me perks for recruiting others, but I am not financially invested in the game, nor receive money-money gains from such invites.

I’m just a regular player, and not one of the major powerhouse players either. I am in it for the grind for rewards, and boy does this game deliver on ways to grind. If you have been hooked on games like Cookie Clicker before, this may be the one game to rule them all in that sense.

The game is basically this:
– Take the general widely-popular Farmville and SimCity concepts and mix them together perfectly, then,

— add turn-based strategy like RISK as an option and not a requirement, that players in a certain 80-ish human-player populated ‘neighborhood’ cluster without the player needing to nag family and friends to recruit, which are not only auto-assigned them but are also auto-adjusted to make for more cooperative neighbors and weed out players who have given up to prevent stagnant accounts,

— add real-world historical elements, in which you can basically be promoted from bronze age, to iron age, up and on thru middle ages, industrial, progressive, modern, and future ages, and each of your related housing and production buildings match in design and architecture from age-to-age, from medieval taverns and shack houses to cobblestone roads and then to paved streets, from old church styles to airports, from tents and craggy-stone monuments upward to gallows or street lights, or more refined landscaping, and include era-specific producible goods buildings like stone miners and wine makers, up toward textiles and salt, toward brass, gunpowder, gasoline, steel production, toward nanotech and biochem data, age-by-age appropriately,

— include special-event seasons that celebrate the accomplishments of real-world scientists and creators like Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, and mostly non-Western influences, with dozens of daily side-quests unique to that season for special earnable game buildings to both decorate and add genuine economic/military bonuses,

— have a bunch of different ways to perform a daily bonus quest, even having different kinds of questing systems to pursue if you wish, that can earn you objectively-good bonuses,

— add a resource-swapping trade system, where you can sell for profit or loss depending on what you’re wanting,

— add guilds that players can create or join that have their own in-game mini-forums, and pool their resources to aid each other’s progression more efficiently and with discounts between each other for trading within-guild at no loss to the seller,

— add the ability to level up guilds, so that a collection of like-minded players can play their own way and contribute to the guild’s overall rank and therefore offer the guild members bonuses such as extra supplies each day for being a higher-leveled guild,

— add the ability to build large historical monument type buildings that add significant game boosts to production or military, which themselves can be increasingly leveled up to offer greater bonuses of their kinds. Build the lighthouse of Alexandria, the tower of Babel, cathedrals, castles, historical monuments, and even futuristic oddities,

— add the ability to play multiple worlds under the same general account without needing additional accounts or additional logins/passes (for instance, I play on 15 worlds, meaning 15 different independent starts-from-the-beginning to experiment with styles and strategies, and there are I think about 25? worlds currently),

— add microtransactions in a way that it can’t truly be discerned that you did actually buy them with real money, because you could have technically earned those same bonuses in one of several different other grindy ways, including exclusive prize-sets that can also be won thru frequent seasonal-events or bought outright,

— somehow cultivate easily the least salty community by having absurd numbers of tasks to perform to keep them distracted from complaining and loads of actual playing members in general extraguild chat-style drop-downs who can Sherpa thru different game elements quite easily, and multiple ways to accomplish a single goal so they don’t get bogged down on being unable to complete one goal one specific way,

— add a military RISK-like guild-vs-guild system where you can compete for territory of vast armies, where even non-military players can contribute defensively by providing tithe-like resources to aid troops without having to do any actual battle, but still cater to the battle-ready military powerhouses who pit their troops against others to control territory and therefore guild rank-up bonuses,

— add another simultaneous guild-vs-guild ranked system that can be accomplished either by military strategy OR by wit of negotiation with a puzzle system that involves risking your resources to gain player-versus-game ground that contributes to a self-ranking system, which resets once a week, that can earn bonuses for guild-leveling experience, in competition with other similarly auto-matched guilds to compete for top prizes,

— and have it all be able to run on lackluster home computers directly thru a browser session with no installables-downloads, one-click Facebook login so no need for passwords, or thru an app, so no need for advanced personal hardware upgrades.. and. tons. more, and at no access cost to play for the life of the game.

You won’t get everything dumped on you right up front. You’ll be eased into the system and hand-held thru general methods, walked thru un-losable battles to start you off in concept, and you’ll both gradually unlock various features but also see up ahead when you’ll be able to unlock them and what you’ll need to do to unlock them.

I was neither paid nor assigned any task by anyone to write this, but merely my idea to write about how good of a game it is (and possibly get some recruitment/sign-up bonuses thru this invite link that only award me based on how much YOU like the game by continuing to play it of your own preference. I make zero actual real-world currency from such linking, either, all superficial in-game bonuses =)