To contact me, just hammer out a quick note to email@example.com and I’ll get right on it. I check it many times per day usually ~_^ This site is not currently sponsored in any way, and runs strictly out-of-pocket.
Hi. I’m ablestmage. I’m 1970’s-born male from north Texas. I like Jesus, artsy things, asian pop music, dark humor, British radio panel games, English wordplay, and sleeping a lot. I generally try to avoid politics and side-blaming, and focus on citation-based assertions of truth that are open for discussion that anyone can fact-check my own research, but nonetheless remain to be considered as editorial.
I grew up with computers and video games, starting with the TI-99/4A (playing games like Munch Man, Parsec, Alpiner and Zero Zap) and Atari 2600 (with games like Combat and Bowling), moving on to an IBM-compatible 8088 with noisy brick-sized 10mb HDD and monochrome orange monitor and 2400-baud modem, playing games like Bouncing Babies and Castle Adventure. Then it was off to a 486-DX2/66 that I could use to play Wolfenstein 3D and the Commander Keen side scrollers (before the pogo stick versions). I was into Bulletin Board Systems, with a heavy leaning toward WWIV 4.23 and can probably beat your pants off in a local BRE match. I also played on the NES (Final Fantasy 1, Super Mario 2, Gradius, Excite Bike, and TMNT1 among favorites), original Xbox (Halo and Morrowind mostly), Xbox 360 (MW2,3, Blops1,2, All Halos except Wars, Oblivion/Skyrim, Destiny), and Xbox One (Destiny, Skyrim mostly)..
I’ve got a degree in English and journalism from Midwestern State and very well may be able to beat you in foosball. I very actively study trends in language and linguistics, enough to consider myself a lexicographer by hobby. I could probably talk for 8 hours straight on how false-prescriptivism (found also in science) is much more of a detriment to science than religion could ever dream to be.
I’ve got moderate-to-severe essential tremor that affects my daily living unpredictably, and although I could share endlessly about its mal-effects, I generally live day to day with positivity.
My atypical username was borne out of a back-burnered interest in designing my own line of upright table game (such as specialty billiards, foos-, etc) designs, and in addition to meaning “most capable (able+est), wizard-swordfighter combo class (mage),” it is also an anagram of “tablegames” and was to be the name of that game-designing company — which may still someday become a reality.
Successful Trolling Was Successful
Many of my posts lately have been of a dark satire I consider part trolling, part homage to Miami columnist Dave Barry — but not serious criticism. Examples:
Rush Limbaugh’s Sandra Fluke Remarks Anger The Unintelligent
Dopey Asexuals Who Don’t Watch House Create Really Stupid Petition
Pit Bull Owners Flunk Listening Comprehension Over McDonalds Ad, Begin Growling
My Weirdly High Pagerank
As you may realize, I have a rather high Google pagerank. I can make a post about something, and within a day, my blog entry will appear within the first page (often) of Google search results for that general topic. I used to post random images every day for about 3 years, glomped and viewfindered via FFFFound.com and various other now-expunged random image sites, which I suspect was instrumental in building that up, although that was not my intent — but I now bask in that ability. If only I could profit off it somehow, since WordPress doesn’t allow automated ad systems..