Is Alabama Throwing the Baby Out With the Bathwater?

In areas where indoor plumbing was not available, one might throw used washing-water out a window onto the street, or dump it out elsewhere. From that developed an idiom in the 1500s, “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater,” or reworded slightly in the 1800s “[Y]ou must empty-out the bathing-tub, but not the baby along with it,” to figuratively recommend avoid discarding valuables in your fervor to discard non-valuables.

Years ago I amended it —
“Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, but also don’t avoid throwing out the bathwater for fear of throwing out babies.”

With discussion of the Alabama total-ban on abortion of any kind, I may need to amend it further, with, “nor, summarize your having thrown out both baby and bathwater, as exercising your right to throw out bathwater.”

In regard to the Alabama law, I think those in favor of a total ban are of so fearful of baby getting thrown out, they would criminalize even just the simple throwing out bathwater on the off-chance it might contain a baby, and will square-peg-into-round-hole force off-topic, vaguely-water-related Chinese proverbs actually about poultry to instead now foretell prophecy of rivers of blood and condemnation that God will rain down upon our once-glorious and sacred nation, neither having been glorious or sacred prior.

Those opposed, however, seem to take immense joy upon filling basins with bathwater and babies, dumping the bathwater with one hand, whilst waving the banner, “my basin, my water” with the other. Even if baby gets dumped out, these argue the bathwater wouldn’t need to be dumped out had we not been enslaved by oppressive capitalist Big Baby, despite themselves being leading shareholders of Big Basin, Big Water, Big Dump, Big Soap, and have pending patents for hydraulic dumping arms, the proceeds for which go to non-profit People For the Ethical Dumping of Oppressive Bathwater.

I recommend not even engaging in behaviors that could lead to babies.

Flint’s Water’s Lead Content Is Now Safer Than Bottled Water

According to both city and independent testing, Flint Michigan’s prior water crisis (due to the presence of lead), is now testing at 4 parts per billion, whereas the restrictions for bottled water production are limited to 5 parts per billion.

The process of replacing the affected piping is scheduled to be completed by 2019, but is already showing to be in the clear according to testing of homes believed to be of high risk of receiving contaminated water.

The project to repair it has been underway for years now, although memes and social media arguments still seem to bicker that ‘something needs to be done’ or ‘why hasn’t something been done yet.’

Sources:
Michigan Live Independent test confirmation
Detroit News Project to be completed in 2019
FDA.gov Bottle water Lead PPM restrictions
Wikipedia Updated 2019 Section
Flint Water Study Updates Facebook page will 2019+ news of progress
Michigan.gov PDF of independent study results and methodology

Master List of “The Fired/Sacked Magician Was Disillusioned” Puns

A fired cleaning lady is dismayed.
A fired magician is disillusioned.
A fired pig farmer is disgruntled.
A fired shepherd is deflocked.

Who else can add a reaction to how someone was fired?

I am increasingly seeing forum posts that propose inventing additional entries to a list of sentences where a person is fired (or “sacked” if you’re a UK English speaker), and the firing/sacking is characterized by a pun regarding their profession, somewhat Tom Swifty style.

The typical first four examples are as listed above; I have collected several additional entries from around the web.

A fired assembly-line worker is discombobulated.
A fired lawyer is disbarred.
A fired lawyer is distorted.
A fired lawyer is unsuitable.
A fired computer technician is shut down.
A fired computer technician who is rehired is turned off and back on again.
A fired cook is toast.

Read 130+ more entries here.

Why do Bags of Chips/Crisps Have So Much Air? Here’s Why.

On Twitter recently it was trending to turn bags of potato chips (crisps, in UK English) upside down on the shelf, as a way to show others how much you’re being “ripped off” by the way the chips all fall down into the part of the bag covered by the logo, and how much air is inside, showing how many chips you’re not getting. However, you want MORE air in your bag, depending.

Here are several reasons why your chips have so much air in the bag, and why that is completely reasonable.

1. A bag with more air can’t be crushed as easily, meaning less fractured chips. You may notice that chips like Cheetos and Fritos have less air in them (but also smaller bag sizes) and that’s because those chips are tougher to break, so the need for air cushioning is reduced. With as many people that handle the bags, and with as many times they are handled, the presence of air prevents individual stockers from crushing the chips inside by there being more air, since grasping the bag front to back would leave more space in between due to the tensile strength of the bag, for the chips to remain in.

If you buy a TV retail, the box is larger than the TV is, because the box contains both the TV and often foam corner cushions to help prevent damage to the TV. You’re not being deceived in buying less-TV or a smaller TV based on how big the box is; the bigger box protects the actual TV you’re buying. Likewise, the ounces of chips you’re buying are more protected in transit and in the stocking process by having a larger bag with more air. The ounces are printed on the front, just as a TV size is printed on the front.

2. Perfect-seal/freshness checking is far easier with more air. Sometimes when receiving cases of chips, there will be one or two inside that seem deflated somewhat, and may have a slow leak that is not obvious, meaning the freshness is questionable from not having a complete seal on it, and dirt/etc could have gotten inside. Having more air in the bag helps with being able to compress gently to detect whether there is any seal rupture, so that it can be refunded as damaged goods.

Continue reading..

Mystery of the “Capital” Brand Soprano Saxophone

I am in possession of a soprano saxophone with the “Capital” brand on the bell, and it has developed some mystery problem and won’t play any notes other than a strange hollow sound.

I received it as a gift appx 20 years ago, from a friend who claimed to have gotten it from a San Antonio music store closing down and selling instruments off cheap.

I have never been able to find any reference to any Capital brand saxophones, or even any Capital brand instruments of any kind over the years of searching for details about it. I’ve taken it to several instrument repair shops (I live in a town with several marching bands who all require instrument repair and rental) and none of them can figure out what exactly is wrong with it, and I’m tempted to just sell it off as junk for $35 or something, but it’s something I’d always wanted.

It did play properly in years past, but one day when dusting off the case and trying it again, it just wouldn’t make any noise other than the hollow tone, no matter which keys were pressed; not even the octave key at the top of the neck really influenced the sound.

If anyone has any information about this brand of saxophone, or any suggestions on something in particular to check on it to troubleshoot this problem, please comment below.