“Why Are We Friends?” Podcast: List of All Connections

“Why Are We Friends” is a trivia podcast, based on Ken Jennings’ “Kennections” game. There are 5 trivia questions, each of which have answers that share a common connection which must ultimately be guessed in order to win the turn.

The podcast can be found on just about any podcast source; but you can check out their Facebook page, and Apple podcast page. The purpose of this list is to allow any fan wishing to submit their own connections questions, to know what connections have already been used, to avoid submitting a duplicate.

– Episode 1 –
Round 1: People from New Zealand
Round 2: These all have mirrors
Round 3: Perfume brands

– Episode 2 –
Round 1: Words which follow ‘Banana’
Round 2: Cities in Ohio
Round 3: Movies set in San Francisco

– Episode 3 –
Round 1: People you tip
Round 2: Brands of cigarettes
Round 3: Musical instruments

– Episode 4 –
Round 1: Famous Native Americans
Round 2: All found in a cabinet
Round 3: Famous TV Advertisements

– Episode 5 –
Round 1: Words Preceding/Following ‘Project’
Round 2: People named Tyler
Round 3: Things that are white

– Episode 6 –
Round 1: Types of teas
Round 2: Gaming systems
Round 3: Things with holes

– Episode 7 –
Round 1: Things that are second
Round 2: Words which follow ‘Moon’
Round 3: Characters from The Wire

– Episode 8 –
Round 1: Canyons
Round 2: Shoe brands
Round 3: Genres of music

– Episode 9 –
Round 1: Each played Ebenezer Scrooge
Round 2: Types of nets
Round 3: Things you burn

– Episode 10 –
Round 1: Dog commands
Round 2: 90’s TV shows
Round 3: Book publishers

– Episode 11 –
Round 1: Shades of Gray
Round 2: Types of flowers
Round 3: Words after ‘Air’

– Episode 12 –
Round 1: All have five stars
Round 2: Football formations
Round 3: Superbowl halftime performers

– Episode 13 –
Round 1: Robin Williams roles
Round 2: US Congressmen
Round 3: All are salty

– Episode 14 –
Round 1: Things found on an airplane
Round 2: Families in Game of Thrones
Round 3: Kinds of machines

– Episode 15 –
Round 1: New Kids on the Block songs
Round 2: US Presidents
Round 3: Country music singers

– Episode 16 –
Round 1: Kinds of Bowls
Round 2: Names of Islands
Round 3: Names of Roller Coasters

– Episode 17 –
Round 1:  They all have flags
Round 2: Kinds of Waves
Round 3: Kinds of Tapes

– Episode 18 –
Round 1: Famous Parks
Round 2: Kinds of Soup
Round 3: Seinfeld episodes

– Episode 19 –
Round 1: All involve tickets
Round 2: Things you “release”
Round 3: Things you call the police

– Episode 20 –
Round 1: Plaintiffs in landmark US court cases
Round 2: Card Games
Round 3: Steve Martin movies

– Episode 21 –
Round 1: Shades of Brown
Round 2: Kinds of beans
Round 3: Things you pitch

– Episode 22 –
Round 1: Florida sports franchises
Round 2: All have drafts
Round 3: Melissa McCarthy movies
Round 4: Types of parties

– Episode 23 –
Round 1: Famous New York Yankees
Round 2: Things found at Disneyland
Round 3: Famous Johns in music

– Episode 24 –
Round 1: Judges on American Idol
Round 2: Words which follow Seven
Round 3: Things associated with fishing

– Episode 25 –
Round 1: Fast food restaurants
Round 2: Things associated with Phantom of the Opera
Round 3: Things on the left

– Episode 26 –
Round 1: Words which go before Jam
Round 2: Things which are British
Round 3: Cabins (?)

– Episode 27 –
Round 1: Groups of animals
Round 2: Mars rovers
Round 3: Things symbolized with Lions

– Episode 28 –
Round 1: Parts of a pinball machine
Round 2: Board games
Round 3: U2 songs

– Episode 29 –
Round 1: Chicken dishes
Round 2: Famous people named Larry
Round 3: Ships which had a mutiny

– Episode 30 –
Round 1: Types of Law
Round 2: Things you beat
Round 3: Homonyms to foods

– Episode 31 –
Round 1: Things which are weighed
Round 2: Associated with The Rock
Round 3: Kinds of salad

– Episode 32 –
Round 1: Weezer song titles
Round 2: Things found in a fridge
Round 3: Cities in Nebraska

– Episode 33 –
Round 1: Co-Characters of Nancy
Round 2: Words before Star
Round 3: Things dope can mean

– Episode 34 –
Round 1: Liam Neeson films
Round 2: Types of Strokes
Round 3: Types of Doughnuts

– Episode 35 –
Round 1: Arcade games
Round 2: David Bowie songs
Round 3: Cities in Oregon

– Episode 36 –
Round 1: Associated with candles
Round 2: phrases following ‘Kentucky’
Round 3: parts of a sword

– Episode 37 –
Round 1: Things which strike
Round 2: Kinds of rodents
Round 3: Types of belts

– Episode 38 –
Round 1: Skateboarding terms
Round 2: Peter Pan characters
Round 3: Harrison Ford films

– Episode 39 –
Round 1: Dodge vehicles
Round 2: Famous people named Ron
Round 3: Scott Joplin songs

– Episode 40 –
Round 1: Star Wars characters
Round 2: Movies with rabbits
Round 3: Shades of red

– Episode 41 –
Round 1: Things with a bench
Round 2: Giants
Round 3: Things you pull

– Episode 42 –
Round 1: Types of raice
Round 2: Baseball stadiums
Round 3: Words following Buffalo

– Episode 43 –
Round 1: Small dog breeds
Round 2: Famous Brians
Round 3: Soccer terms

– Episode 44 –
Round 1: Things that are dry
Round 2: Robert Downey Jr roles
Round 3: U2 albums

– Episode 45 –
Round 1: All have diamonds
Round 2: Words which can follow “free”
Round 3: Kinds of furniture

– Episode 46 –
Round 1: Types of bus
Round 2: Bill Murray films
Round 3: Associated with lanes

– Episode 47 –
Round 1: Associated with eggs
Round 2: Brands of chewing gum
Round 3: Things which are blue

– Episode 48 –
Round 1: Associated with craps game
Round 2: Words which come before Friend
Round 3: pronouns

– Episode 49 –
Round 1: Types of underwear
Round 2: Words which can follow Black
Round 3: Famous people named Jack

– Episode 50 –
Round 1: Begins with a double letter
Round 2: Things you draw
Round 3: Vice Presidents

– Episode 51 –
Round 1: Associated with Sweden
Round 2: Herb varieties
Round 3: All have arrows

– Episode 52 –
Round 1: Things you count
Round 2: Arrested Development characters
Round 3: ???

– Episode 53 –
Round 1: Kinds of gasses
Round 2: Words which follow No
Round 3: Found on a roll

– Episode 54 –
Round 1: Things that spin
Round 2: Famous hills
Round 3: ???

– Episode 55 –
Round 1: Tennis scores
Round 2: Characters in Beauty & The Beast
Round 3: Accounting terms

– Episode 56 –
Round 1: REM songs
Round 2: Words before Drive
Round 3: Tom Petty songs

– Episode 57 –
Round 1: Palindromes
Round 2: Goonies characters
Round 3: Types of bread

– Episode 58 –
Round 1: Associated with Roast
Round 2: English units of measure
Round 3: Baseball pitch nicknames

– Episode 59 –
Round 1: Has a face tattoo
Round 2: Aaron Carter albums
Round 3: All have queens

– Episode 60 –
Round 1: Shades of pink
Round 2: Kinds of cups
Round 3: Rhymes with names in this podcast

Links to all known “Noisy Gobshite” Contractor Reddit Updates

An epic thread on Reddit about a sub-contractor getting fired by “Noisy Gobshite” for failing to check on whether his coffee was ready, has gained over 50,000 upvotes all in, but it’s spread across multiple threads and discussion has spread across multiple subreddits seeking updates as the total fallout hasn’t been tallied. This is my attempt to link each of those posts onto a single page, and add any known updates when available.

Original Thread, Includes Updates 1-8 as edits.

TDLR: Hyper-specialized sub-contractor (“David”) who has extremely limited availability and extremely rare talents for restoring century-specific architecture with very specific rare materials, is hired by ‘ACC’ contractor’s site-admin (not owner) to restore an historic UK building. ACC blowhard owner, ‘Noisy Gobshite’ fires David (without consulting site-admin) for refusing to help fetch NG coffee, unaware how fractally-profoundly difficult it will be to hire someone to replace him. David is miraculously not a jerk about it, but gains proof that he was fired and that he didn’t abandon the site, in the form of a audio-recorded tirade from NG telling David to leave the property and the contract ending.

Update Nine:

TLDR: Noisy Gobshite’s company is forced to hire a Bulgarian to come from the EU (*snicker*) to resume/restart repairs, but “then it gets interesting” when Bulgarian uses wrong-century techniques and materials, plus destroys part of the original building, resulting in a volcano of fresh wet excrement to hit the fan of the size of the chunnel digger.

Update Ten:

TLDR: Use of the phrase, “You’re as much use as Anne Frank’s drum kit,” and now-former-owner NG, is fired by the father and uncle of the company who own over 50% share in the company but let NG run it and are possibly on the hook for shy of 1mil (GBP) fines and repair bills. Includes storyteller’s wife updating that wildly handsome storyteller was in a car accident and unable to update much else yet.

Storyteller’s Reddit User page, /MostlyGruntled has a feed of any known most-recent posts automatically. As of this article’s writing (April 29, 2020), only known update is people in different subreddit(s) asking for updates.

Is Alabama Throwing the Baby Out With the Bathwater?

In areas where indoor plumbing was not available, one might throw used washing-water out a window onto the street, or dump it out elsewhere. From that developed an idiom in the 1500s, “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater,” or reworded slightly in the 1800s “[Y]ou must empty-out the bathing-tub, but not the baby along with it,” to figuratively recommend avoid discarding valuables in your fervor to discard non-valuables.

Years ago I amended it —
“Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, but also don’t avoid throwing out the bathwater for fear of throwing out babies.”

With discussion of the Alabama total-ban on abortion of any kind, I may need to amend it further, with, “nor, summarize your having thrown out both baby and bathwater, as exercising your right to throw out bathwater.”

In regard to the Alabama law, I think those in favor of a total ban are of so fearful of baby getting thrown out, they would criminalize even just the simple throwing out bathwater on the off-chance it might contain a baby, and will square-peg-into-round-hole force off-topic, vaguely-water-related Chinese proverbs actually about poultry to instead now foretell prophecy of rivers of blood and condemnation that God will rain down upon our once-glorious and sacred nation, neither having been glorious or sacred prior.

Those opposed, however, seem to take immense joy upon filling basins with bathwater and babies, dumping the bathwater with one hand, whilst waving the banner, “my basin, my water” with the other. Even if baby gets dumped out, these argue the bathwater wouldn’t need to be dumped out had we not been enslaved by oppressive capitalist Big Baby, despite themselves being leading shareholders of Big Basin, Big Water, Big Dump, Big Soap, and have pending patents for hydraulic dumping arms, the proceeds for which go to non-profit People For the Ethical Dumping of Oppressive Bathwater.

I recommend not even engaging in behaviors that could lead to babies.

Flint’s Water’s Lead Content Is Now Safer Than Bottled Water

According to both city and independent testing, Flint Michigan’s prior water crisis (due to the presence of lead), is now testing at 4 parts per billion, whereas the restrictions for bottled water production are limited to 5 parts per billion.

The process of replacing the affected piping is scheduled to be completed by 2019, but is already showing to be in the clear according to testing of homes believed to be of high risk of receiving contaminated water.

The project to repair it has been underway for years now, although memes and social media arguments still seem to bicker that ‘something needs to be done’ or ‘why hasn’t something been done yet.’

Michigan Live Independent test confirmation
Detroit News Project to be completed in 2019
FDA.gov Bottle water Lead PPM restrictions
Wikipedia Updated 2019 Section
Flint Water Study Updates Facebook page will 2019+ news of progress
Michigan.gov PDF of independent study results and methodology

Master List of “The Fired/Sacked Magician Was Disillusioned” Puns

A fired cleaning lady is dismayed.
A fired magician is disillusioned.
A fired pig farmer is disgruntled.
A fired shepherd is deflocked.

Who else can add a reaction to how someone was fired?

I am increasingly seeing forum posts that propose inventing additional entries to a list of sentences where a person is fired (or “sacked” if you’re a UK English speaker), and the firing/sacking is characterized by a pun regarding their profession, somewhat Tom Swifty style.

The typical first four examples are as listed above; I have collected several additional entries from around the web.

A fired assembly-line worker is discombobulated.
A fired lawyer is disbarred.
A fired lawyer is distorted.
A fired lawyer is unsuitable.
A fired computer technician is shut down.
A fired computer technician who is rehired is turned off and back on again.
A fired cook is toast.

Read 130+ more entries here.

Why do Bags of Chips/Crisps Have So Much Air? Here’s Why.

On Twitter recently it was trending to turn bags of potato chips (crisps, in UK English) upside down on the shelf, as a way to show others how much you’re being “ripped off” by the way the chips all fall down into the part of the bag covered by the logo, and how much air is inside, showing how many chips you’re not getting. However, you want MORE air in your bag, depending.

Here are several reasons why your chips have so much air in the bag, and why that is completely reasonable.

1. A bag with more air can’t be crushed as easily, meaning less fractured chips. You may notice that chips like Cheetos and Fritos have less air in them (but also smaller bag sizes) and that’s because those chips are tougher to break, so the need for air cushioning is reduced. With as many people that handle the bags, and with as many times they are handled, the presence of air prevents individual stockers from crushing the chips inside by there being more air, since grasping the bag front to back would leave more space in between due to the tensile strength of the bag, for the chips to remain in.

If you buy a TV retail, the box is larger than the TV is, because the box contains both the TV and often foam corner cushions to help prevent damage to the TV. You’re not being deceived in buying less-TV or a smaller TV based on how big the box is; the bigger box protects the actual TV you’re buying. Likewise, the ounces of chips you’re buying are more protected in transit and in the stocking process by having a larger bag with more air. The ounces are printed on the front, just as a TV size is printed on the front.

2. Perfect-seal/freshness checking is far easier with more air. Sometimes when receiving cases of chips, there will be one or two inside that seem deflated somewhat, and may have a slow leak that is not obvious, meaning the freshness is questionable from not having a complete seal on it, and dirt/etc could have gotten inside. Having more air in the bag helps with being able to compress gently to detect whether there is any seal rupture, so that it can be refunded as damaged goods.

Continue reading..

Mystery of the “Capital” Brand Soprano Saxophone

I am in possession of a soprano saxophone with the “Capital” brand on the bell, and it has developed some mystery problem and won’t play any notes other than a strange hollow sound.

I received it as a gift appx 20 years ago, from a friend who claimed to have gotten it from a San Antonio music store closing down and selling instruments off cheap.

I have never been able to find any reference to any Capital brand saxophones, or even any Capital brand instruments of any kind over the years of searching for details about it. I’ve taken it to several instrument repair shops (I live in a town with several marching bands who all require instrument repair and rental) and none of them can figure out what exactly is wrong with it, and I’m tempted to just sell it off as junk for $35 or something, but it’s something I’d always wanted.

It did play properly in years past, but one day when dusting off the case and trying it again, it just wouldn’t make any noise other than the hollow tone, no matter which keys were pressed; not even the octave key at the top of the neck really influenced the sound.

If anyone has any information about this brand of saxophone, or any suggestions on something in particular to check on it to troubleshoot this problem, please comment below.

Dear Time-Warner Spectrum: Please Stop this $40 Bundle Garbage

Dear Time-Warner/Spectrum:

Please stop sending me AMAZING DEALS in the mail about the identical offer over and over. With every new opportunity, you keep sending me the identical LIMITED TIME deal, without fail, when it is objectively not a deal at all.

I had Time Warner Cable internet before it became Spectrum, and it was about $25/mo ($15/mo with a bunch of garbage fees). I don’t have a television or a phone. I do have a cell phone, but it’s a Trac-Fone and costs around $7 per month.

You’re proposing I get the amazing deal of internet for $40/mo, except your idea of an amazing deal is actually a price increase of $15 more per month than I’m already paying. Plus, I can only get that incredible savings IF I bundle it with two other services I don’t even use, for $40/mo each, for a total of $120/mo instead of the existing $25 (lately has been raised to $30/mo via some additional garbage fees added on).

To be fair, you’ve recently switched over to a TV+Internet bundle minus the land-line, which is still $80, or $50 more per month than I’m paying now.

IT IS NOT A DEAL, and it reminds me of how out-of-touch you are EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.


Each time your fine print says that the offer exprires on xyz date, it never does genuinely expire because you just change what the same offer is “celebrating” so that I can still get the same non-savings because it happens to be George Washington’s birthday, or Valentine’s Day, or whatever.

During October you wanted me to essentially ‘scare-up-some-savings’ with the SAME OFFER.

In November, you told me about a LIMITED TIME offer that offered a cornucopia of savings in “thanks” for being a great customer, with THE SAME OFFER.

Then there was the BLACK FRIDAY DEAL except it was the SAME OFFER. Cyber Monday deal! SAME OFFER.

In mid-November I posted on Facebook about your perpetual psychosis that this could possibly be an amazing deal somehow or in any sense of the word a LIMITED TIME deal and to get it now now now, that you would actually be offering the same motherfalcon offer with something like “Tis The Season For an Amazing Deal” or some garbage. Sure enough on Dec 16, you sent me, “It’s a Most Wonderful Time for a Deal” with the SAME OFFER.

Each time I get a new one, I will be posting it in comments below this article until you stop. I wonder how long it will keep going.. decades?

Forge of Empires: Perfect Microtransaction Balance and Unsalty Game Community

If you’ve never heard of it, please check out a browser game (and recently an app version that connects to the same browser-playing players) called Forge of Empires.

This has truly become “my game” to play over the years, and it has what I would argue as the most perfect balance between gameplay-advantageous microtransactions (henceforth MTs), yet at the same time basically no-one caring that people can gain advantage thru MTs because the game’s fun-ness at the fundamental level is the grind toward those advantages.

Full disclosure: This is an invite link that gives me perks for recruiting others, but I am not financially invested in the game, nor receive money-money gains from such invites.

I’m just a regular player, and not one of the major powerhouse players either. I am in it for the grind for rewards, and boy does this game deliver on ways to grind. If you have been hooked on games like Cookie Clicker before, this may be the one game to rule them all in that sense.

The game is basically this:
– Take the general widely-popular Farmville and SimCity concepts and mix them together perfectly, then,

— add turn-based strategy like RISK as an option and not a requirement, that players in a certain 80-ish human-player populated ‘neighborhood’ cluster without the player needing to nag family and friends to recruit, which are not only auto-assigned them but are also auto-adjusted to make for more cooperative neighbors and weed out players who have given up to prevent stagnant accounts,

— add real-world historical elements, in which you can basically be promoted from bronze age, to iron age, up and on thru middle ages, industrial, progressive, modern, and future ages, and each of your related housing and production buildings match in design and architecture from age-to-age, from medieval taverns and shack houses to cobblestone roads and then to paved streets, from old church styles to airports, from tents and craggy-stone monuments upward to gallows or street lights, or more refined landscaping, and include era-specific producible goods buildings like stone miners and wine makers, up toward textiles and salt, toward brass, gunpowder, gasoline, steel production, toward nanotech and biochem data, age-by-age appropriately,

— include special-event seasons that celebrate the accomplishments of real-world scientists and creators like Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, and mostly non-Western influences, with dozens of daily side-quests unique to that season for special earnable game buildings to both decorate and add genuine economic/military bonuses,

— have a bunch of different ways to perform a daily bonus quest, even having different kinds of questing systems to pursue if you wish, that can earn you objectively-good bonuses,

— add a resource-swapping trade system, where you can sell for profit or loss depending on what you’re wanting,

— add guilds that players can create or join that have their own in-game mini-forums, and pool their resources to aid each other’s progression more efficiently and with discounts between each other for trading within-guild at no loss to the seller,

— add the ability to level up guilds, so that a collection of like-minded players can play their own way and contribute to the guild’s overall rank and therefore offer the guild members bonuses such as extra supplies each day for being a higher-leveled guild,

— add the ability to build large historical monument type buildings that add significant game boosts to production or military, which themselves can be increasingly leveled up to offer greater bonuses of their kinds. Build the lighthouse of Alexandria, the tower of Babel, cathedrals, castles, historical monuments, and even futuristic oddities,

— add the ability to play multiple worlds under the same general account without needing additional accounts or additional logins/passes (for instance, I play on 15 worlds, meaning 15 different independent starts-from-the-beginning to experiment with styles and strategies, and there are I think about 25? worlds currently),

— add microtransactions in a way that it can’t truly be discerned that you did actually buy them with real money, because you could have technically earned those same bonuses in one of several different other grindy ways, including exclusive prize-sets that can also be won thru frequent seasonal-events or bought outright,

— somehow cultivate easily the least salty community by having absurd numbers of tasks to perform to keep them distracted from complaining and loads of actual playing members in general extraguild chat-style drop-downs who can Sherpa thru different game elements quite easily, and multiple ways to accomplish a single goal so they don’t get bogged down on being unable to complete one goal one specific way,

— add a military RISK-like guild-vs-guild system where you can compete for territory of vast armies, where even non-military players can contribute defensively by providing tithe-like resources to aid troops without having to do any actual battle, but still cater to the battle-ready military powerhouses who pit their troops against others to control territory and therefore guild rank-up bonuses,

— add another simultaneous guild-vs-guild ranked system that can be accomplished either by military strategy OR by wit of negotiation with a puzzle system that involves risking your resources to gain player-versus-game ground that contributes to a self-ranking system, which resets once a week, that can earn bonuses for guild-leveling experience, in competition with other similarly auto-matched guilds to compete for top prizes,

— and have it all be able to run on lackluster home computers directly thru a browser session with no installables-downloads, one-click Facebook login so no need for passwords, or thru an app, so no need for advanced personal hardware upgrades.. and. tons. more, and at no access cost to play for the life of the game.

You won’t get everything dumped on you right up front. You’ll be eased into the system and hand-held thru general methods, walked thru un-losable battles to start you off in concept, and you’ll both gradually unlock various features but also see up ahead when you’ll be able to unlock them and what you’ll need to do to unlock them.

I was neither paid nor assigned any task by anyone to write this, but merely my idea to write about how good of a game it is (and possibly get some recruitment/sign-up bonuses thru this invite link that only award me based on how much YOU like the game by continuing to play it of your own preference. I make zero actual real-world currency from such linking, either, all superficial in-game bonuses =)

How to Fart: Simple Cheap Recipe for Loud, Frequent, Strong Farting

In my journey to discover cheaper and cheaper meals, I realized that simple, “non-quick” oatmeal works makes not only for a decent snack or small meal to settle hunger, but has a rather extraordinary side effect of producing some of the loudest, smelliest, and frequent farting I have ever experienced.

All you need is regular whole-grain oatmeal (can be purchases in a large canister for usually $2.50 or less), sugar (to help with the taste) and water.

Mix 2 cups of this standard oatmeal in a bowl, add 2-3 tablespoons of regular granulated sugar, and 1.5 cups (or 3/4 cup, twice) of water, and stir together and eat.

Add more water if you’d rather it be runnier for better sipping without a utensil to eat it with. The sugar is mainly for the taste, as eating just oatmeal with water can be somewhat difficult.

You can use any generic kind of oatmeal, and any generic granulated sugar.

After consuming, in about 1-3 hours, you should begin to experience some of the loudest, forceful, plentiful, and potent farting you may have ever experienced. Your personal body’s reaction to it may vary widely, but the kind of farts generated for me somewhat depended on how much other food I had eaten that day.

I would recommend keeping the farts to smaller bursts, which can amount to 4-5 at a time if farted carefully, but if you let the whole fart go at once, you might be risking it being juicy.

Proceed with caution, at your own risk!

What is a Jingle Horse? It’s a special horse used to..

In the lyrics of the Christmas song, Jingle Bell Rock (lyrics) is the phrase Giddyup, jingle horse, kick up your feet,” and I wondered what exactly a jingle horse was, as I’d never heard it anywhere else. It sounded to me like a mean name you’d call a reindeer, like perhaps one of the names the other reindeer called Rudolph.

I was first alerted to the term by the podcast Dynamic Banter (nsfw language) about it when the hosts joked about it briefly and even tried looking it up themselves with little success.

After asking around, and finding this article to confirm, it turns out a jingle horse is a special horse that is used to round up all of the other horses that were left to graze.

By tradition, no man could eat breakfast until the horses were fed first, so it was the task of typically a new person to the camp to ride out in the early morning to round up the horses, who each wore a little bell so you could find them easier in the darker hours of the morning. If you were the lucky new guy to round them up, you were assigned “to jingle” the horses back to camp.

There was one specific horse that was kept at camp, however, that the person tasked with jingling duty would ride out to find the others, and that horse was called the jingle horse =)

The End-All Discussion of Whether Loot-Boxes Are Gambling

Short version:
Loot boxes are not gambling in the legal sense unless you could win actual legal tender from them, and that’s all there is to it.

Long version:

1. I live in Texas, where gambling is illegal by state law, with the exception of a state-run lottery system. I live nearish the north border, and it is common here for people to travel to Oklahoma casinos to gamble, where it is legal to do so there.

2. Texas does, however, allow Chuck E. Cheese’s to exist, or the “insert coin, get plastic toy” gumball-machine style devices that children can blow their entire allowance on if left unchecked, because you don’t receive legal tender from them. Even if you are inserting tokens into a device that spits out a random number of tickets based on no skill whatsoever, or even if you are playing a completely rigged claw machine whose claw-strength is random to offer an illusion of skill, those are legal under anti-gambling states because your potential prize is not actual money.

3. Using your favorite dictionary entry to try to officiate language as if to “prove” that loot boxes are actually gambling, is a definitively false understanding of the existence of dictionaries.

4. The issue is not that you’re risking actual money for something, but that you’re risking actual money for a possible prize of actual money. If all you can win is something not-money, even if that not-money prize can be used like money, it isn’t gambling unless the prize is actual legal tender.

5. If the loot box you bought with actual dollars could win you actual dollars, then it is definitively gambling in the legal sense. If the loot box you bought could not even possibly win you actual dollars, even if there is any level of “risk” of not getting the non-money prize you’re hoping for, it is is not gambling in the legal sense, period.

6. The ESRB is not a legal-regulatory body. It is a review system like Siskel & Ebert or the MPAA, who have no authoritarian control over whether children are legally permitted to view films. They can issue ratings like S&E/MPAA about recommendations, but their ratings are not law, and a retailer cannot be taken to court for failure to restrict a child from buying an ESRB-rated game, because the ESRB does not institute legally-binding ratings.

7. Considering this to be gambling would not only undermine Chuck E. Cheese’s and claw machines, but also basically any kind of “blind” unreturnable product packaging such as baseball, Yu-Gi-Oh/Pokemon, Magic: The Gathering, and other collectible cards that have a randomized set of cards that propose you collect the full set of or could have more valuable kinds within and could be resold for profit. For that matter, cereal boxes that have a collect-all-three plastic toy gimmick, or Happy Meals. Perhaps those who shoot down loot boxes as gambling may have even gotten their legal degrees in the form of a lick-and-stick tattoo from a random Cracker Jack box..