List of Gibberish Sentences/Questions: Do What More Like, Etc

This is just a short list-collection of gibberish or confusing sentences I’ve come across. Add more in comments, and I’ll add them to the list if I like them =)

>Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>So, wyd your girl this like that when she so you see til her friend not him cooking probably?

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Dear Time-Warner Spectrum: Please Stop this $40 Bundle Garbage

Dear Time-Warner/Spectrum:

Please stop sending me AMAZING DEALS in the mail about the identical offer over and over. With every new opportunity, you keep sending me the identical LIMITED TIME deal, without fail, when it is objectively not a deal at all.

I had Time Warner Cable internet before it became Spectrum, and it was about $25/mo ($15/mo with a bunch of garbage fees). I don’t have a television or a phone. I do have a cell phone, but it’s a Trac-Fone and costs around $7 per month.

You’re proposing I get the amazing deal of internet for $40/mo, except your idea of an amazing deal is actually a price increase of $15 more per month than I’m already paying. Plus, I can only get that incredible savings IF I bundle it with two other services I don’t even use, for $40/mo each, for a total of $120/mo instead of the existing $25 (lately has been raised to $30/mo via some additional garbage fees added on).

To be fair, you’ve recently switched over to a TV+Internet bundle minus the land-line, which is still $80, or $50 more per month than I’m paying now.

IT IS NOT A DEAL, and it reminds me of how out-of-touch you are EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Also, it is NOT A LIMITED TIME OFFER.

Each time your fine print says that the offer exprires on xyz date, it never does genuinely expire because you just change what the same offer is “celebrating” so that I can still get the same non-savings because it happens to be George Washington’s birthday, or Valentine’s Day, or whatever.

During October you wanted me to essentially ‘scare-up-some-savings’ with the SAME OFFER.

In November, you told me about a LIMITED TIME offer that offered a cornucopia of savings in “thanks” for being a great customer, with THE SAME OFFER.

Then there was the BLACK FRIDAY DEAL except it was the SAME OFFER. Cyber Monday deal! SAME OFFER.

In mid-November I posted on Facebook about your perpetual psychosis that this could possibly be an amazing deal somehow or in any sense of the word a LIMITED TIME deal and to get it now now now, that you would actually be offering the same motherfalcon offer with something like “Tis The Season For an Amazing Deal” or some garbage. Sure enough on Dec 16, you sent me, “It’s a Most Wonderful Time for a Deal” with the SAME OFFER.

Each time I get a new one, I will be posting it in comments below this article until you stop. I wonder how long it will keep going.. decades?

Forge of Empires: Perfect Microtransaction Balance and Unsalty Game Community

If you’ve never heard of it, please check out a browser game (and recently an app version that connects to the same browser-playing players) called Forge of Empires.

This has truly become “my game” to play over the years, and it has what I would argue as the most perfect balance between gameplay-advantageous microtransactions (henceforth MTs), yet at the same time basically no-one caring that people can gain advantage thru MTs because the game’s fun-ness at the fundamental level is the grind toward those advantages.

Full disclosure: This is an invite link that gives me perks for recruiting others, but I am not financially invested in the game, nor receive money-money gains from such invites.

I’m just a regular player, and not one of the major powerhouse players either. I am in it for the grind for rewards, and boy does this game deliver on ways to grind. If you have been hooked on games like Cookie Clicker before, this may be the one game to rule them all in that sense.

The game is basically this:
– Take the general widely-popular Farmville and SimCity concepts and mix them together perfectly, then,

— add turn-based strategy like RISK as an option and not a requirement, that players in a certain 80-ish human-player populated ‘neighborhood’ cluster without the player needing to nag family and friends to recruit, which are not only auto-assigned them but are also auto-adjusted to make for more cooperative neighbors and weed out players who have given up to prevent stagnant accounts,

— add real-world historical elements, in which you can basically be promoted from bronze age, to iron age, up and on thru middle ages, industrial, progressive, modern, and future ages, and each of your related housing and production buildings match in design and architecture from age-to-age, from medieval taverns and shack houses to cobblestone roads and then to paved streets, from old church styles to airports, from tents and craggy-stone monuments upward to gallows or street lights, or more refined landscaping, and include era-specific producible goods buildings like stone miners and wine makers, up toward textiles and salt, toward brass, gunpowder, gasoline, steel production, toward nanotech and biochem data, age-by-age appropriately,

— include special-event seasons that celebrate the accomplishments of real-world scientists and creators like Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, and mostly non-Western influences, with dozens of daily side-quests unique to that season for special earnable game buildings to both decorate and add genuine economic/military bonuses,

— have a bunch of different ways to perform a daily bonus quest, even having different kinds of questing systems to pursue if you wish, that can earn you objectively-good bonuses,

— add a resource-swapping trade system, where you can sell for profit or loss depending on what you’re wanting,

— add guilds that players can create or join that have their own in-game mini-forums, and pool their resources to aid each other’s progression more efficiently and with discounts between each other for trading within-guild at no loss to the seller,

— add the ability to level up guilds, so that a collection of like-minded players can play their own way and contribute to the guild’s overall rank and therefore offer the guild members bonuses such as extra supplies each day for being a higher-leveled guild,

— add the ability to build large historical monument type buildings that add significant game boosts to production or military, which themselves can be increasingly leveled up to offer greater bonuses of their kinds. Build the lighthouse of Alexandria, the tower of Babel, cathedrals, castles, historical monuments, and even futuristic oddities,

— add the ability to play multiple worlds under the same general account without needing additional accounts or additional logins/passes (for instance, I play on 15 worlds, meaning 15 different independent starts-from-the-beginning to experiment with styles and strategies, and there are I think about 25? worlds currently),

— add microtransactions in a way that it can’t truly be discerned that you did actually buy them with real money, because you could have technically earned those same bonuses in one of several different other grindy ways, including exclusive prize-sets that can also be won thru frequent seasonal-events or bought outright,

— somehow cultivate easily the least salty community by having absurd numbers of tasks to perform to keep them distracted from complaining and loads of actual playing members in general extraguild chat-style drop-downs who can Sherpa thru different game elements quite easily, and multiple ways to accomplish a single goal so they don’t get bogged down on being unable to complete one goal one specific way,

— add a military RISK-like guild-vs-guild system where you can compete for territory of vast armies, where even non-military players can contribute defensively by providing tithe-like resources to aid troops without having to do any actual battle, but still cater to the battle-ready military powerhouses who pit their troops against others to control territory and therefore guild rank-up bonuses,

— add another simultaneous guild-vs-guild ranked system that can be accomplished either by military strategy OR by wit of negotiation with a puzzle system that involves risking your resources to gain player-versus-game ground that contributes to a self-ranking system, which resets once a week, that can earn bonuses for guild-leveling experience, in competition with other similarly auto-matched guilds to compete for top prizes,

— and have it all be able to run on lackluster home computers directly thru a browser session with no installables-downloads, one-click Facebook login so no need for passwords, or thru an app, so no need for advanced personal hardware upgrades.. and. tons. more, and at no access cost to play for the life of the game.

You won’t get everything dumped on you right up front. You’ll be eased into the system and hand-held thru general methods, walked thru un-losable battles to start you off in concept, and you’ll both gradually unlock various features but also see up ahead when you’ll be able to unlock them and what you’ll need to do to unlock them.

I was neither paid nor assigned any task by anyone to write this, but merely my idea to write about how good of a game it is (and possibly get some recruitment/sign-up bonuses thru this invite link that only award me based on how much YOU like the game by continuing to play it of your own preference. I make zero actual real-world currency from such linking, either, all superficial in-game bonuses =)

How to Fart: Simple Cheap Recipe for Loud, Frequent, Strong Farting

In my journey to discover cheaper and cheaper meals, I realized that simple, “non-quick” oatmeal works makes not only for a decent snack or small meal to settle hunger, but has a rather extraordinary side effect of producing some of the loudest, smelliest, and frequent farting I have ever experienced.

All you need is regular whole-grain oatmeal (can be purchases in a large canister for usually $2.50 or less), sugar (to help with the taste) and water.

Mix 2 cups of this standard oatmeal in a bowl, add 2-3 tablespoons of regular granulated sugar, and 1.5 cups (or 3/4 cup, twice) of water, and stir together and eat.

Add more water if you’d rather it be runnier for better sipping without a utensil to eat it with. The sugar is mainly for the taste, as eating just oatmeal with water can be somewhat difficult.

You can use any generic kind of oatmeal, and any generic granulated sugar.

After consuming, in about 1-3 hours, you should begin to experience some of the loudest, forceful, plentiful, and potent farting you may have ever experienced. Your personal body’s reaction to it may vary widely, but the kind of farts generated for me somewhat depended on how much other food I had eaten that day.

I would recommend keeping the farts to smaller bursts, which can amount to 4-5 at a time if farted carefully, but if you let the whole fart go at once, you might be risking it being juicy.

Proceed with caution, at your own risk!

What is a Jingle Horse? It’s a special horse used to..

In the lyrics of the Christmas song, Jingle Bell Rock (lyrics) is the phrase Giddyup, jingle horse, kick up your feet,” and I wondered what exactly a jingle horse was, as I’d never heard it anywhere else. It sounded to me like a mean name you’d call a reindeer, like perhaps one of the names the other reindeer called Rudolph.

I was first alerted to the term by the podcast Dynamic Banter (nsfw language) about it when the hosts joked about it briefly and even tried looking it up themselves with little success.

After asking around, and finding this article to confirm, it turns out a jingle horse is a special horse that is used to round up all of the other horses that were left to graze.

By tradition, no man could eat breakfast until the horses were fed first, so it was the task of typically a new person to the camp to ride out in the early morning to round up the horses, who each wore a little bell so you could find them easier in the darker hours of the morning. If you were the lucky new guy to round them up, you were assigned “to jingle” the horses back to camp.

There was one specific horse that was kept at camp, however, that the person tasked with jingling duty would ride out to find the others, and that horse was called the jingle horse =)

The End-All Discussion of Whether Loot-Boxes Are Gambling

Short version:
Loot boxes are not gambling in the legal sense unless you could win actual legal tender from them, and that’s all there is to it.

Long version:

1. I live in Texas, where gambling is illegal by state law, with the exception of a state-run lottery system. I live nearish the north border, and it is common here for people to travel to Oklahoma casinos to gamble, where it is legal to do so there.

2. Texas does, however, allow Chuck E. Cheese’s to exist, or the “insert coin, get plastic toy” gumball-machine style devices that children can blow their entire allowance on if left unchecked, because you don’t receive legal tender from them. Even if you are inserting tokens into a device that spits out a random number of tickets based on no skill whatsoever, or even if you are playing a completely rigged claw machine whose claw-strength is random to offer an illusion of skill, those are legal under anti-gambling states because your potential prize is not actual money.

3. Using your favorite dictionary entry to try to officiate language as if to “prove” that loot boxes are actually gambling, is a definitively false understanding of the existence of dictionaries.

4. The issue is not that you’re risking actual money for something, but that you’re risking actual money for a possible prize of actual money. If all you can win is something not-money, even if that not-money prize can be used like money, it isn’t gambling unless the prize is actual legal tender.

5. If the loot box you bought with actual dollars could win you actual dollars, then it is definitively gambling in the legal sense. If the loot box you bought could not even possibly win you actual dollars, even if there is any level of “risk” of not getting the non-money prize you’re hoping for, it is is not gambling in the legal sense, period.

6. The ESRB is not a legal-regulatory body. It is a review system like Siskel & Ebert or the MPAA, who have no authoritarian control over whether children are legally permitted to view films. They can issue ratings like S&E/MPAA about recommendations, but their ratings are not law, and a retailer cannot be taken to court for failure to restrict a child from buying an ESRB-rated game, because the ESRB does not institute legally-binding ratings.

7. Considering this to be gambling would not only undermine Chuck E. Cheese’s and claw machines, but also basically any kind of “blind” unreturnable product packaging such as baseball, Yu-Gi-Oh/Pokemon, Magic: The Gathering, and other collectible cards that have a randomized set of cards that propose you collect the full set of or could have more valuable kinds within and could be resold for profit. For that matter, cereal boxes that have a collect-all-three plastic toy gimmick, or Happy Meals. Perhaps those who shoot down loot boxes as gambling may have even gotten their legal degrees in the form of a lick-and-stick tattoo from a random Cracker Jack box..

My Suggestion List for Smaller Destiny 2 Changes / Oct 2017

Dear Bungie:

I’ve been playing Bungie games since Myst when CD-ROMs were a new thing. I have a 12-year XBL account, and a demo disc for Halo 1 is a treasured part of my collection of Bungie offerings I’ve followed over the years. I went to midnight releases for most of the Halo games. I was a semi-regular of #HBO (irc.bungie.org then) and I was even credited with a news story in the HBO news once =)

I made several suggestions before Halo 2 came out, many of which were actually implemented into Halo 2 — either I was really good at predicting them, or the ideas really stuck with someone.

I was the kind of D1 player that couldn’t wait to get home from work to dive in, even years onward. Icebreaker was my jam, and before D1’s year 2 light raise, Timur’s Lash was my go-to Hand Cannon. I was Hunter main then, but in D2 am Titan main. Destiny 2 has been out about a month now, and I’ve got about an equal mixture of rants and raves to offer.

I’m trying my best to avoid comparing early D2 to late D1, considering D1 had about 3 years of development while we played, and early D1 had its share of frustrating things. I’m also trying to avoid suggesting major changes like reworking the power/light system, which D1 did itself at one point). What I consider more major changes would be things like halting this Quickplay garbage, returning 6v6, etc — but for the purposes of this article, I mean to address more subtle things like UI or additional vendor ideas.

1. Show the actual vs. displayed Light-Power level if it is modded.

We know that purple-modded weapons give a +5 boost to the total light-power, but displaying the number with the 5 added, seems to confuse too many people who can’t seem to grasp that you can infuse a 267 blue that has no mod, into a 270 purple that has a purple mod, because the light-power is actually just 265 with a +5 bonus, raising it to 272 total. Displaying only the total needs to change to perhaps “265/270” or “288(293)” or whatever, to properly display the actual unmodded light-power.

2. Make an option at the gunsmith to allow us to extract a mod from a weapon, at a legendary shard cost.

When you dismantle a weapon with a mod, the mod is just lost to the ether somehow, but I would presume Bashee more than qualified to be able to extract it from the weapon, for a price. Since there are so few things to spend shards on, this would be a great start.

3. There needs to be an emblem vendor, who can mod/customize them, with tally/etc mods that record specific variables I want to show off.

Currently there are some cool emblems that record, say, Striker Titan kills of any kind, but the emblem colors/design itself is not to my liking. Arguably no one in the entirety of Destiny 2 wants to show off that they’re level 20. Let us pick which stats can go on which emblems that we prefer, or even let us grind to find the emblem mods we’re after.

4. The “Clan XP earned” notification function is very strange.

It still displays earned Clan XP even after the cap is reached, so basically informing us that we’re earning Clan XP that is wasted because it can’t be applied. The function could also be used for other more-badly-needed notifications, such as “match has begun” while sifting thru menus would be helpful, especially when a guided-game match has been assembled.

5. There needs to be a shadow put on the background of notification text.

They currently are simply completely transparent backgrounds, so any white text in the further background clashes or blends into the same text of the notification text. The perfect example of this is getting something from Tess when decoding a Bright engram — it’s tough to read what the acquired object’s description is, because the text behind it clashes. Putting a dark or blurring effect in the background of the notification text to blur out any text/colors behind it, would be loads of help.

6. Allow us to re-scan PVE objects.

Currently we’re able to occasionally scan objects in PVE and get a morsel of story of it the object’s purpose, but if part of the dialogue was missed because of an interruption like a public event dialogue taking over, we can’t rescan it to hear it again. Let us do that.

7. There is no PVP kill icon for Titan Feedback gauntlet kills.

When you get a kill in PVP, the feed in the bottom left shows how you were killed, with a little gun icon, fist-action icon, etc, showing the method of the kill, but when someone takes fatal damage from the burst put by the Feedback Fence gauntlets (which reflects damage caused by melee), it just shows nothing, as if the icon is simply a spacebar character.

8. Challenges need be replaced by another challenge

Instead of simply saying 100% complete and hanging there forever, once a challenge is complete, have it zip away and be replaced by a new challenge, perhaps one of the same type but be incrementally harder and offer incrementally/proportionally better rewards.

9. The challenge list is obstructed from appearing by other items on that side.

If we do something that gains us glimmer, we have to wait until the glimmer notification goes away before the challenges will appear. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat. Make the challenges appear underneath it or alongside it, or make the glimmer/etc notification go away as soon as we try to pull up the challenges list.

10. Allow us to disable certain milestones on the list from ever reappearing.

I don’t ever plan to Raid or do Trials. Continually reminding me that I haven’t done them is both obvious and annoying to me. It’s fine if they want to flash across the bottom when reset happens, but let me remove them from the list.

11. Allow us to lock mods or shaders from being dismantled that we want to keep.

12. Allow vault legendary weapons to stack, or be made a collection item.

Since there is no variation in weapon stats, such that all of them have the same stats, allow only 1 slot per weapon of the same name in the vault, rather than 2 of the same kind of weapon taking up 2 slots, and have their light simply match the current blue-drop level.

13. Allow us to turn in a full row of legendary engrams in for a powerful engram.

Since we can keep up to 10 legendary engrams at once, allow those of us who grind, to keep a stash of undecoded legendary engrams to turn them into the Cryptchump in for a powerful engram. This would help people who only play a little at a time to still be able to get milestone-level rewards..

Once we’ve obtained one kind of shader (including ornaments), allow us to pay legendary shards to get another copy of it from the vault so we don’t need to waste vault space with them. These could be located in the collections side, maybe.

14. Make a shader vendor similar to Gunsmith.

In the way we can trade 3 blue mods for a legendary mod, let us trade in lower-tier shaders we have a bunch of but don’t want (or hate), into getting a higher-tier shader that is shinier/etc. This could be integrated into Tess to assist the player with being more-often interacting with her and perhaps therefore more likely to buy/spend silver on something. Additional vendors could be located at the Farm to have a reason to go there.

15. Make the communication beacons on EDZ serve a purpose.

I’ve noticed that sometimes I will spawn into an EDZ server where someone of under-20 level is, because there are a bunch of Fallen communication beacons around in places, but when I destroy them, nothing happens. Make these be a trigger for something like how there used to be a “mysterious message” patrol in D1, or make them give us at least glimmer or something once we’re past 20.

16. There is an occasional public event in the EDZ that isn’t shown on the map most of the time.

If you head out of Trostland, thru the U-shaped exit and continue south along the shoreline as it curves east, near an underpass/bridge by the shore, a Fallen tank public event with the domes will occasionally happen, but rarely seems to show up on the map unless already in that loading zone.

17. Reduce the number of invisible barriers.

This has been a criticism of mine since Halo 2, that there are too many invisible barriers that serve no rational purpose from the gamer’s perspective. If you don’t want us to see absent textures from up high somewhere, put textures in, don’t just put an invisible barrier that prevents me from walking there. Make the fact that I can’t go there reasonable. For instance, I’ve been able to climb up to one of the upper ledges of the Devrim’s tower.. the ledge above his window, but when I try to go higher, there’s some kind of invisible wall for no logical reason that prevents me from jumping even barely an inch. LET ME CLIMB!

18. Let us acquire the Dance Party key in some way outside of the raid.

19. Let us still be able to join or leave factions at will.

Outside of the faction rally week, we can’t earn faction tokens — if you want to have faction tokens only “count” toward the faction totals during the rally, fine, but let us earn faction rep rewards (or at minimum, their shaders).

20. Have way more secret things to do in the new Tower and on the Farm.

This could even rotate by each week, especially ones that have a series of nonsensical tasks similar to the Farm’s scout jumping puzzle or the new Tower’s ball puzzle, and related to that week’s theme (such as faction rally, iron banner, etc).

That’s 20 so far; as I think of more I will append them to this list. If anyone else commenting has an idea I like, I’ll add it to my list and credit..

Sincerely, thehomeland.