Make It Stop: Brilliant Citizen Woman + Karate Dancer

Another new post variety coming your way: videos that I just had to quit watching because I couldn’t take any more — not from being scary, or grotesque, or improper.. just.. well, see for yourself.

Brilliant Woman Solves All of California’s Problems

And another one, just because.

Guy Can’t Dance, Resorts to Ninja Moves

Get A Mask Of Your Face: ThatsMyFace.com

There’s a site out there that will now make a reconstruction of a face that you send in. I’m not sure what the process is for sending in someone else’s face.

That’s My Face.com

Site Demo

A TMF sample held up for the camera

Just taking a look at this site, I ponder the possible uses —

(A) If you get disfigured or something, you could order one of these using an old photograph and not have to go with the traditional white Phantom of the Opera half-mask. But where’s the charm in that?

(B) Perhaps you could go rob a bank using this, and use the face of someone you hate, so maybe they’ll get arrested instead of you.

(C) Creepy 3D portraits of your long-dead kid now brought vividly back to stasis-life to hang on the wall, and for your mean-spirited sibling to steal, and years later after having given up looking for it, they’ll get their still-living kid to use it as a mask and sneak up on you while you’re asleep and say, “Mommy?” while standing at the foot of your bed trying to wake you up. (Shyamalan, if you use this as a movie idea, you owe me)

The uses just keep adding up!

T3B3: Morning Musume

Morning Musume, an all-girl Japanese pop music group, heads up this first in a series of upcoming posts ranking my top 3 and bottom 3 favorites of something. Specifically: my favorite PVs, and why ^_^ And to be fair, I’m only really considering PVs after 2000, when Nozomi/Ai and Yossie began showing up — because for me, that’s when MoMusu really began. There are some good and bad before that, but the group didn’t seem really fleshed out and they were still just poking around trying this new thing. But anyway, given that:

Top 3 Morning Musume PVs (no particular order)

Kanashimi Twilight
This PV seems to strike the perfect balance between dance shots and closeups, offers some solid vocals in a predictable but pleasant pattern, and offers a guitar solo that often gives me the goosebumps when I hear it due to the great build-up prior and a smoth transition. Despite my fondness for it, I would not likely rank this as one I’d suggest watching for an introduction to the group due to the almost overly “leggy” sections. It’s also very pink, but there’s enough color in the outfits to balance out the bright neon backdrop, I think. From a trivia-historical context, it was one of the first times we got to hear the then-new Mitsui perform a few lines of her own (such as at 1:03), and it was suggested this would be Yossie’s final PV. The end practically confirms it by giving us a long sneaky stare from her, as a “Yoshizawa was here” signature.

Sexy Boy

I like this one, but would find it rather difficult to suggest it, in person, to one of my guy friends, as a recommendation. The outfits are super simple and the backdrop isn’t especially thought provoking, but it somehow works. It’s possibly the first video I thought Niigaki captured my attention (not having much eye for her prior), and the only visual downside I can find to the PV itself is the slightly distracting edge of the ceiling in the back, where white corrugated metal meets a rounded wall for a weird blackened corner. The slow glances to the camera’s direction are almost terrifying, but in a rip-your-heart-out, fun kind of way (making for a few good animated avatars I’ve seen on MoMusu message boards).

Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari 2

I’ve watched this one dozens and dozens of times, and have sometimes used it as background music on repeat when I’m cleaning up the house. It’s quick and peppy, stuck-in-your-head catchy, and follows a fun pattern. It’s almost a frame story, in a way — a bunch of friends all riding the same bus, and the party going on in their heads as they try to pass the time waiting for the bus to reach its destination, and then the PV ends as they begin start filing out at the stop. The meter of the stanzas (which don’t seem to change key much) are almost identical aside from subject matter, reciting a few lines about each group member, offering us a little insight into the actual character of everyone instead of being a general-message video. Also enjoyed the brief reference (2:31) to the Nozomi-Kago splinter group “W” when the pair are before the camera side by side (indicated by a side-by-side peace sign forming a W, followed by two 3-finger W’s).

Bottom 3 Morning Musume PVs (no particular order)

Mr. Moonlight

Aside from decent outfits, and swoon-worthy camera glances from Abe and Maki, this one mostly just leaves me wondering, “…what?” I’m all for some actual musical instruments being used — but this is J-pop — not Chucku Berryu and the Tamagachis. I’m almost completely disinterested in stage-performed musicals, and this one seems to just poke at that sore place, repeatedly. Instead of the normal, cohesive PV that I’m used to, I’m subjected to a PV that feels more like a highlight reel from crummy amateur attempt at broadway. And then there’s that minute or so toward the end with the drum major outfits, before going back to the regular outfits. What was that all about? The Ow-Ow-Ow-Ow back-and-forth just prior to that had me thinking, “this passed muster at the ideas table? Yeesh.” And Yossie — I like you a lot. A lot. But please never try to be anything similar to Elvis ever again.

Onna ni Sachi Are

I really did like the background music on this, and much prefer the instrumental over the sung version. A friend of mine considered this one “too yellow” but for me, or at least every version I’ve seen of this PV, the music never seems to line up right with onscreen movements, and the attempt to sound clever by starting phrases with a lead up to the first beat of a measure just feels too stretched. Not being a fan of the on-stage musical as noted in Mr. Moonlight, the outfits here remind me of a Vegas showgirl get-up and don’t really do anything for me. Instead of looking at the camera (or me, perhaps) the daughters of the morning keep looking off to the side, and it’s like I’m talking to someone while they’re doing something else more interesting and just nodding, “yeah. uh-huh. okay.” I have always understood “baka” to mean “idiot”, and I can’t say I’m particularly dreamy-eyed at cuties who mouth “idiot” to me =P

Pepper Keibu

Although I really do like this particular tune, I’m just not in love with this video. Again with the stage-musical bit, plus the camera angle seems almost a little too close, and mostly, there’s just way. too. much. shoulder. movement. Also, the’re almost an awkwardness in watching it, as if there’s just way too much leg being seen here (not to mention leg meat flopping around, which is funny to type). It was the first video I that JunJun had much caught my eye, I’ll give it that much. The shoulder-bobbing motion is just peculiar (coupled with the jingly-ness of the outfits), and the see-saw movement when they touch their shoulders seems hastily added just to be doing something. I certainly have nothing against shoulders, mind you, but I’d rather just play this in the background and not have to watch it anymore.

Feel free to object to my unjustified assertions, agree with my profound wisdom, or post your top3/bottom3 in the comments below ^_^

Trying Sangria Senorial For The First Time

I was out shopping at the local close-out store, and happened upon a case of Sangria Senorial, which was opened and being sold by the bottle. At first I liked it because of the peculiar bottle shape (as I like weird containers, and drinking from weird containers for that matter), and considered getting it because it was $0.70 and something new to write about.

At first I thought it might be some kind of soy sauce, from the color, the bottle shape, and its proximity to the other groceries in the store, but on closer inspection the ingredients listed carbonated water and sugar as the top two items. It’s got a green bottle with a metal bottlecap that doesn’t screw back on, so I assume it’s meant to be consumed in one sitting (unlike a soy sauce bottle which has somewhat similar shape but a replaceable screw-cap). It’s 11.16 oz, so just shy of the amount in a standard soda can.

I don’t drink alcoholic beverages, so the Non-Alcoholic subheading caught my eye. I bought one, among other things at the shop, and took it home, and I’m trying it out now for the first time.

It’s made in Mexico, and the distributor is based in El Paso. I googled the name, and there’s a wikipedia entry for it that doesn’t offer much details other than it’s made by the same company that also produces those weird fruit juices you might see on the soda aisle that are all in Spanish (and perhaps only if you live in the South, at that), and that the beverage is “sangria-flavored”.

Sangria turns out to be a wine variety, but this particular brand is noted to be a non-alcoholic variety. It’s supposedly made with carbonated water, cane sugar, lemon, and wine grapes.

I had a heck of a time getting the cap off, although I could just be a weakling. I remembered my manual can opener has one of those metal cap pry thingies, so I had to get up to go hunt after it. Finally wrenching the cap off, I’m ready.

And now for the first sip. Not sure what to think. It’s not terrible or gross, but it’s not familiar. There’s a subtle twinge of grape, and only a hint of sweetness. The flavor seems to linger on the middle of my tongue after swallowing, and when I exhale after the tiny swig, I can smell it on my breath.

It smells vaguely like how wine smells, but doesn’t taste like how I’d guess wine tastes necessarily. The pinch of sweetness is throwing me off. I’ve had sparkling non-alc grape juice before, and it’s kinda like that, a little.

Sip #2, deeper swig, and periodically more sips and glugs. It’s really kinda growing on me. Not really worth $0.70 for a sparkling faint-grape beverage, but not altogether a total loss, if purely for the novelty. Each exhale after sipping seems to well up suddenly and directly to my sinuses, and give me the impression briefly that I’ve got beer breath.

Overall, not bad. I’d give it 6/10. If I were offered one for free, I’d take it. I’d pay perhaps $0.50 if there weren’t any other soda choices and I was thirsty. If there were other soda choices, I might grab one of these if it was significantly cheaper than the others. If there were a variety of sodas from an ice chest to grab from for free, I’d grab one. Verdict: Protruding Lower Lip, A Nod, Raised Eyebrows, and a Positive Meh.