How to Fart: Simple Cheap Recipe for Loud, Frequent, Strong Farting

In my journey to discover cheaper and cheaper meals, I realized that simple, “non-quick” oatmeal works makes not only for a decent snack or small meal to settle hunger, but has a rather extraordinary side effect of producing some of the loudest, smelliest, and frequent farting I have ever experienced.

All you need is regular whole-grain oatmeal (can be purchases in a large canister for usually $2.50 or less), sugar (to help with the taste) and water.

Mix 2 cups of this standard oatmeal in a bowl, add 2-3 tablespoons of regular granulated sugar, and 1.5 cups (or 3/4 cup, twice) of water, and stir together and eat.

Add more water if you’d rather it be runnier for better sipping without a utensil to eat it with. The sugar is mainly for the taste, as eating just oatmeal with water can be somewhat difficult.

You can use any generic kind of oatmeal, and any generic granulated sugar.

After consuming, in about 1-3 hours, you should begin to experience some of the loudest, forceful, plentiful, and potent farting you may have ever experienced. Your personal body’s reaction to it may vary widely, but the kind of farts generated for me somewhat depended on how much other food I had eaten that day.

I would recommend keeping the farts to smaller bursts, which can amount to 4-5 at a time if farted carefully, but if you let the whole fart go at once, you might be risking it being juicy.

Proceed with caution, at your own risk!

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