Polar Bear Becomes Newest Morning Musume Member, 2 Injuries Reported

Tsunku, the genius behind the impressive Hello!Project empire, has announced that Growly-Growly, a polar bear from Antarctica chosen from an audition among the twelve polar bear entrants, will become the next Morning Musume member in the team’s ever-increasing intention of diversifying for an international appeal.

Injuries were sustained by members Mitsui and LinLin, after Growly-Growly (known as Cuddly McFluffers in his native tongue) accidentally backpawed the two during practice for their introductory concert, putting both on indefinite leave. Said Morning Musume fanboy Mike from Texas, “Thank you, Jesus.”

Kureata Watafaki, Tsunku’s retarded third cousin who has been given the design-control helm for Berryz Koubou releases for now, offered condolences to fans of the two injured, suggesting that perhaps an upcoming Berryz PV might feature some of the bodily fluids ejected during the mauling, as a central element of the visual theme. Tsunku reportedly later slapped Watafaki repeatedly with a rolled up newspaper for suggesting it, but made no further obstruction of the suggestion becoming a reality from the embarrassment-beset Berryz design team.

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