Reader Christine Jarvis writes:
Dear Skotchy: I was trying to adjust the inverse phase variance on my diametric cathode-ray deflector dish, and I accidentally knocked a vial of trihypothalamic solution into the deflector’s pulse capacitance array. Am I screwed? I mean, it’s not like I burnt out the starboard Jeffrey’s tube transistor sector. Maybe.
Dear Christine: It looks like you’ve got quite a bit of work on your hands in the coming months, but check a few things for me before getting down to business. If you have the Schematoid Interface Insurance Plan (commonly offered on Tau Seti Prime), you may just have to give them a call on this one and save yourself a huge migraine. But firstly, check to make sure you haven’t misaligned the metaneuron flux manifolds. If those are out of whack, get those back in order before you do anything else. The reason I say this is because trihypothamamic solution tends to actually decode the subprocessor translating circuits — hah! If I had a bar of lithium microlira for every Jeb Q Centaurian who brought in their STC, I could have paid off that Tarkazian Razorhover ages ago! Anyhow, after realignment, make sure the transwarp picofluctuators are within .04 microns of normalcy before calling the shop here. I can hook you up with a replacement capacitance array at below cost, since your question made the cut. Hopefully you don’t have a Chameloid Kashyyykite client (and if so, on the apology scan, be sure to put AaaArrraaArGGgHH instead of Sincerely (using those capitalizations) at the end, because trust me, it will really impress them to seek you for repeat business. If you have a question for Scotchy, send a personal inquiry to my Terra-based internode at ablestmage@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!
